Movie Reviews? Who are you, Gene Siskel?

No – and he is dead.  Show some respect.

I love movies.  I love everything about them – except for Anne Hathaway.  She is the worst.  But my very favorite kinds of movies are the kind that are made by TV Channels (SyFy Original Movies, Lifetime Original Movies) and premiered on said channels to the kind of depressing fanfare that makes me proud to be an American.

THESE are the kinds of movies I will be reviewing.  And I will almost certainly be reviewing them while under the influence of alcohol.  Because you wouldn’t make me watch “Camel Spiders” sober, would you?  That’s mean.  You’re mean.

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